Murder Close To Home

Murder Close To Home

I’ve told my kids this story, but my memories were sketchy from this incident nearly fifty years ago. I’ve put together some details from old memories from the perspective of a young boy and from the newspaper articles I’ve found over the years. This is a tragic story from many years ago when I was just a boy. My memories of that time are sketchy, pulled from the perspective of an adolescent young boy and from nearly fifty years of distance. Some of the details may not be entirely accurate, but the emotions and that deep, unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach remain as alive today as they were back then. The memories may have faded around the edges, but the ache in my heart and the tightness in my gut are still as real as ever.

A Childhood in the Woods

As a boy, I was blessed with a childhood surrounded by nature. Our property backed up to state land, which made the woods feel like they stretched on forever. My dad owned 30 acres of mixed land, but the state land beyond our property was a vast wilderness—hundreds, maybe thousands of acres of dense woods, winding trails, and hidden ponds. To a young man, it felt like an uncharted world waiting to be explored.

My friends and I spent countless hours exploring, hunting turtles and frogs, and sometimes even going skinny-dipping. The woods were our playground, filled with old foundations, abandoned homes, barns, and shelters—remnants of a world long gone. Scattered along the trails were these mysterious, decaying structures, their histories unknown to us. Our imaginations would run wild as we transformed the woods into the wild west, battling cowboys and Indians, or maybe it was Indians fighting the cowboys—our roles changed as quickly as our imaginations sparked. Either way, the fun and adventure never seemed to end. The woods held an endless supply of stories, and every corner turned brought a new setting for our next great battle or adventure.

One of the most vivid landmarks was ‘Pinnacle Hill,’ a steep, glacially formed peak within the rugged Hadley Hills. This area was carved by ancient ice, leaving behind steep inclines, basin lakes, and hidden sinkholes that became our playground. Pinnacle Hill once held a fire tower at its peak, and from the top, you could see for miles in almost any direction. It felt like standing on top of the world. The old foundation of the tower became our fortress, and we would imagine living in a time long ago, creating stories and adventures in our minds. At the bottom of the hill, there were a few old, wrecked cars—likely failed attempts to climb the steep incline. To a young boy, those rusted-out cars were treasures, sparking our imaginations and adding to the mystery of the place.

Our imaginations ran wild—we were cowboys, Indians, adventurers in a world of our own making. The woods were not only a sanctuary but also a place where innocence met the wildness of the world. I remember the cool air against my skin, the way the sunlight filtered through the canopy, and the crunch of leaves underfoot. There was a sense of safety, yet also an unspoken awareness that the world was much bigger—and perhaps more dangerous—than we understood. As young boys, we stood on the edge of that understanding, playing in shadows, unaware of how quickly a shadow could consume the light.

For me, the woods were more than a place of play. They were an escape. My dad always had a list of chores—turning up the garden, mowing the lawn, taking care of the animals, fixing cars. I learned quickly to do my work as fast as possible and disappear into the woods before another list appeared. Those woods were my refuge, my freedom.

I don’t remember today how much of my wanderings in the woods my parents were aware of. I would never have been brave enough to go without the permission of one of them—probably whichever parent had the shortest work list that day. But did they think I was playing at a neighbor’s house, or did they know I was a mile or two deep into the woods? I don’t know. My parents were very protective, but the state land was always considered a safe place, almost like an extension of our own property. One thing I do know: in those days, I could run like a deer. It seemed like I could be back home in only a few minutes. I knew those woods by heart and could easily run through them, even in the dark.

One afternoon in early May of 1975, my friend Mark Mellendorf and I made plans to meet back in the woods after school to camp out. He told me about his cousin, Scott Hardy, whom I had not met yet, but he was coming to camp with us. By now, the weather was warming, and the end of the school year wasn’t far away. We were eager to be outside, to feel the freedom of the woods, and to camp out. We were just young boys, but the idea of spending the night in the woods, building a fire, setting up a tent, and playing cowboys under the stars was irresistible. It was the kind of adventure every boy dreams of. While we might have talked about camping out on the state land, in reality, we knew we would set up our tent on my family’s property—where it felt safe yet still adventurous. But when it came to exploring, playing cowboys and Indians, and frog hunting, we would often venture onto the state land, where the boundaries of our world seemed limitless.

That Friday afternoon, I saw Mark for the last time on the school bus. I can still picture him, the way he looked out the window, the casual way he said goodbye. It was just another Friday, just another bus ride home. There was no sign, no warning, nothing to hint that this would be the last time I would ever see him.

A Night of Tragedy

While I sat through the church event, my friends made their way into the woods. I can’t tell you why they were at Toby Lake (some maps say Tody Lake, all the names were just made-up by the locals). Toby Lake is not where we would have met. They would have had to pass Toby Lake on the way to our meeting place near Pinnacle Hill, so either they were playing along the way or they were taken there. I’ll never know. It’s also possible that the newspapers did not identify the lake properly. These lakes are really nothing more than ponds scattered throughout the woods—you could easily walk all the way around most of them in a few minutes. The lake we intended to camp at had a swimming hole on one end and a tree with a rope to swing out into it. I’m sure they were nothing more than mud holes, but to a boy—it was skinny dipping heaven.

Mark and Scott were found by a teenage dropout. Not the kind of kid we would have invited to our play time. My guess is that the 17-year-old killer, Kenneth Earl Nard, approached Mark and Scott and wanted to be involved in whatever they were doing. It would have been obvious that they were alone and headed into the woods to camp out. Kenneth was most certainly turned away and was offended that, once again, nobody wanted him. One newspaper even quoted a cop saying, “Kenneth was a born loser.”

The boys were beaten, sexually assaulted, strangled, and murdered that night. Mark was later found hanging in a tree by his own sweater, while Scott was found nearly naked, laying in a shallow creek. The truth of what happened to them was more horrific than any of the rumors that circulated at school, and the reality of it shattered the fragile innocence of our world.

After the tragedy, my home was filled with a silence that felt heavier than words could ever be. My parents never spoke of it. There was no asking if I was okay, no comforting words, no shared tears. It was as if the tragedy lived in the walls, a ghost that everyone pretended not to see. I would sit in my room, the house too quiet, and feel the weight of my unspoken grief pressing down on my chest. I often wondered if I was the only one who felt this way, or if my parents were just as lost as I was, unable to find a way through the darkness.

The grief wasn’t just in my heart—it was in my body. I remember the lump in my throat that never went away, the ache in my stomach, the way my hands would shake when I thought too much about that night. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I would wake up gasping for air, as if the weight of everything was pressing the breath out of me. And I had nowhere to put it—all that pain, all that confusion. So, I buried it, deep down, and hoped it would stay there.

One day, deep in the woods, away from the house and the silence, I broke down. I punched a tree until my knuckles bled, screamed into the empty air until my voice was hoarse. I sat at the edge of a muddy pond, knees drawn to my chest, and sobbed. I let the woods hear the truth—the pain, the anger, the questions. And the woods, in their quiet, ancient way, held it all without judgment.

When I walk in the woods even now, I often find myself looking to the little ponds and old foundations, wondering—what if I had been there that night? What if things had gone differently? Those questions linger, quiet but persistent, like echoes in the forest. And with each step, I still seek answers that never come.

I hope one day to meet them again along a small stream in heaven. Maybe I can be a teenage boy again, and we can go camping together. We can play cowboys and Indians and go skinny-dipping in the pond. I wonder if that’s allowed in heaven? The release of the man who killed my friends felt like a wound reopened, a reminder that the world is not always just, and that sometimes, the answers we seek never come.

Pearl of Great Price

Pearl of Great Price

The angels rejoiced that warm spring day as a penniless child opened her heart to Jesus.  But the child was ignored by the house of worship, for an impoverished child has no place in the modern church of human worship.  Those who are hungry and naked are not welcome in the hearts of those who worship in those hallowed halls.  Oh, but place an ounce of gold in her hand and the cathedrals would have welcomed her with open arms into their game of churchianity.  Angels rejoice for they perceive with the eyes of God, but the congregation with eyes of carnal man. 

In the wisdom of God a great pearl, formed by a mote of great pain, was hidden inside that child that no congregation of human eyes could discern.  God used those sands of affliction to polish and perfect a pearl of great value.

On that day, before the Kingdom throne, we will not be judged for our ability to prosper with greed and gold but our ability to seek and buy the pearl of a great price.

Talking Dog

Talking Dog

A man sees a sign in front of a house: “Talking Dog For Sale.”

He rings the bell and the owner tells him that the dog is in the backyard.  The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.  

“You talk?” he asks.

“Of course,” the dog replies.

“So what’s your story?”

The dog looks up and says, “well, I discovered my gift of talking quite young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting with spies and world leaders in rooms because no one thought a dog was eavesdropping.  I was one of the most valuable spies eight years running.

The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I was not getting any younger and I wanted to settle down.  So, I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.  There I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.   Later I had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.”

The guy is amazed.  He goes back in and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog.

The owner says, “Ten dollars.”

The guy says, “This dog is amazing.  Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?”

“Because he’s a liar.  He didn’t do any of that stuff!”

My Confession

My Confession

I feel it’s necessary for me to make a confession. Our many friends know me to be generally a kind-hearted and compassionate kind of person. Yet, what you may not know is that inside me dwells a hatred that is neither Christian or compassionate. At this Christmas season, maybe you can find forgiveness in your hearts or sympathy for my attitude. I must confess to my friends a deep rooted attitude of hatred and a propensity toward violence. Not with everyone, certainly not toward my friends and family. But there is one who has pushed me to the edge and my attitude is evil toward him.

With him, violence rises up within me. I always try to find the best in someone, but this one, this one is too much for me. I realize that he was created by God just like me. I realize that he probably has a family and friends, just like me, but his appearance and character just push me too far. In short, he bugs me. To put it bluntly – he’s ugly.

Now I realize that it’s not his fault. I don’t mean to judge, please don’t judge me for judging him. But, honestly, I can’t get past it. His black beady eyes constantly shifting, his voice is like an irritating buzz in my ears. I don’t even listen to his words. I would be more content if he would just shut-up.

He’s so small, smaller than most, yet an attitude that he can conquer the world. Little man’s syndrome we call it. He looks at me with such disdain. He doesn’t care what I think or what I say. His black skin just crawls with disease and filth.

You see he spends his time in the dirty places, places you and I would never go. He eats food I would never touch. A beggar by nature, he finds a smelly dumpster to be a smorgasbord of delight. I understand that we should give to the less fortunate, but I simply refuse to share my food with him. I would rather he starve than touch my food. When he sees my food I cover it from his eyes. I don’t even want him looking at me. He repulses me. I don’t even feel remorse for my hatred. I simply want him dead and removed from the earth.

He spends his days in the most disgusting and dark places, places an ordinary white man would never dare to go, yet he comes to me and sits near me and occasionally touches me. I don’t want him to touch me or be near me. He’s here, he’s there, he moves around the room like an invited guest. He eats my food when I’m not looking, I’ve even seen him drink from my cup and I’m so repulsed that I dump it down the drain rather than touch it to my lips again. I want him out of my house but he refuses to go. I want him gone. I want him dead.

He even touches my wife and my children, like an intimate friend. Hatred rises up in me and in them. Has he no sense of decency? This is my family! This is my home! Yet he is near us and touches in ways that boil my blood. They have no compassion either. They have learned to hate him too. We attempt to ignore him whenever possible. But there comes a time, when his pastiness overwhelms one of us and we will reach for the nearest fly swatter and kill him in an instant.

Faith in the Storm: Finding Peace When Life Gets Chaotic

Faith in the Storm: Finding Peace When Life Gets Chaotic

Faith in the Storm: Finding Peace When Life Gets Chaotic

Life has a way of throwing storms at us when we least expect them. Whether it’s a sudden health crisis, financial strain, relationship struggles, or an unexpected turn of events, chaos can sweep in like a tidal wave, leaving us gasping for air. In these moments, faith becomes not just a lifeline but an anchor, holding us steady in the midst of turmoil.

The Eye of the Storm

There is a phenomenon in nature called the eye of the storm. At the center of a hurricane, amidst the raging winds and rain, there exists a pocket of calm. It’s a reminder that even within the fiercest storms, peace is possible. For those who follow Christ, this peace is not a fleeting emotion but a profound reality. Jesus said, â€œPeace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27)

When life feels chaotic, God offers us a refuge in His presence. He doesn’t always calm the storm immediately, but He promises to calm our hearts. It is in leaning into Him, pressing into His word, and surrendering our fears that we find a peace that transcends understanding.

Finding Peace in Practical Ways

  1. Stay Grounded in Scripture: When the world feels like it’s spinning, the Word of God is a firm foundation. Verses like â€œBe still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10) and â€œThe Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”(Exodus 14:14) are not just comforting words but powerful truths to declare over your situation.
  2. Pray Through the Panic: It’s natural to feel anxious when life feels out of control. But instead of letting anxiety take over, turn those feelings into prayer. Pour out your heart to God, even if all you can muster is a whispered â€œHelp me, Lord.” He hears every cry and is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18).
  3. Embrace Community: We were never meant to weather storms alone. Share your burdens with trusted friends or a faith community. Allow others to pray for you, support you, and remind you of God’s goodness when you struggle to see it for yourself.
  4. Worship in the Storm: Worship has a unique way of shifting our perspective. When Paul and Silas were in prison, they sang hymns to God (Acts 16:25). Their circumstances didn’t change immediately, but their hearts were free long before their chains were loosed. Worship breaks chains of fear and ushers in the presence of God.

A God Who Calms the Waves

One of the most powerful stories of peace in chaos is found in Mark 4:35-41. As Jesus and His disciples crossed the sea, a furious storm arose. While the disciples feared for their lives, Jesus slept peacefully in the boat. When they woke Him in panic, He simply said, â€œPeace! Be still!” and the storm ceased.

This story is not just about a physical storm but a spiritual truth. Jesus’ peace is not circumstantial. He offers a peace that stands firm regardless of the waves around us. When we invite Him into our chaos, He brings order. When we call on His name, He speaks to the storm within us.

Final Encouragement

If you find yourself in the middle of a storm today, know that you are not alone. God sees you, hears you, and is with you. He is not distant or disconnected but intimately involved in every detail of your struggle. His peace is available to you—not because the situation makes sense but because He is present.

Take a deep breath. Whisper His name. Let His peace flood your heart and mind. As you rest in Him, you will find that while the storm may not pass immediately, your soul can find calm in the storm’s eye.

Call to Action: If this message encouraged you, share it with a friend who might need a reminder of God’s peace today. For more biblical teachings and daily encouragement, visit our blog at Gentleman Outlaw and explore the “Daily Light” series for fresh insights and inspiration every week.


📌 Day 1: When the Waves Rise
“Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he brought them out of their distress. He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed.” (Psalm 107:28-29)

Storms don’t ask for permission; they come suddenly, shaking everything around us. But no matter how high the waves rise, God hears our cries. He may not remove the storm immediately, but He promises to bring us through it. The waves obey His command.

Reflection: What waves are crashing around you right now? Have you cried out to God, trusting Him to calm your heart even if the storm still rages?


📌 Day 2: Peace in the Storm
“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” (Isaiah 26:3)

True peace isn’t the absence of trouble but the presence of trust. The world’s peace depends on circumstances, but God’s peace surpasses understanding. Even when storms rage, you can anchor yourself in the unshakable truth that He is with you.

Reflection: Are you focusing on the storm or the One who controls it? How can you fix your mind on God’s promises today?


📌 Day 3: Trusting When You Can’t See
“For we live by faith, not by sight.” (2 Corinthians 5:7)

Faith doesn’t always come with clarity. Sometimes, we must step forward without seeing the whole picture. Like Peter walking on water, trust means keeping our eyes on Jesus, even when the wind howls. When we focus on Him, fear loses its grip.

Reflection: What step of faith is God calling you to take, even if you don’t have all the answers?


📌 Day 4: Anchored in God’s Promises
“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” (Hebrews 6:19)

An anchor keeps a ship steady in rough waters. God’s promises are the anchor of our souls, keeping us secure when life’s storms try to pull us away. His Word is unshakable, and His faithfulness never fails.

Reflection: What promises of God do you need to cling to today? How can you remind yourself that He is your anchor?


📌 Day 5: Finding Strength in the Tempest
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Storms make us feel weak, but they also reveal where our strength comes from. Paul rejoiced in his hardships because they magnified God’s power in his life. Your struggles aren’t signs of failure—they are invitations to rely on His grace.

Reflection: How can you shift your perspective and see your struggle as an opportunity for God to work through you?


📌 Day 6: Jesus Calms the Storm
“The wind died down and it was completely calm. He said to his disciples, ‘Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?’” (Mark 4:39-40)

Jesus never promised a storm-free life, but He did promise His presence. The disciples feared for their lives, yet Jesus was in the boat all along. No matter how fierce the storm, He is still in control.

Reflection: Do you believe Jesus is with you in your storm? How would your response change if you truly rested in His presence?